Your eyes spring open, you jump up out of your deep hibernation pod. Your Amazon incorporated Alexa smart-home shouts at you through every wall, floor, ceiling, cupboard and orifice with a synthesised vocal palate that resembles an uncanny likeness of Noddy Holder performing fellatio on a Dalek.
The year is 2050, Christmas day to be exact. The one day of the year you get to enjoy to yourself. No 16-hour shift packaging Bezos' Original Recipe Nutrient Dense Meal Supplements down at the fulfilment centre today. No. You get to really kick back and relax.
What a better way to enjoy your time, than spending 2800 hours worth of Employee Reward Credits (approximately £5.00 in old money value) on the latest ‘Charity Waxmas’ EP courtesy of Acid Waxa.
Packed full of non-stop, funky fresh yuletide resonators. Charity Waxmas is the only collection of festive themed, 303 fabricated psychoacoustics you need this holiday.
With tracks from AYU Acid, Roy of The Ravers, Romeo Taylor and Christopher Rave, you’ve got enough content to keep you going as you blast through that bottle of Vodka and wait for your Christmas dinner to materialise out of the UberEats particle-exaggerator in what would have be your kitchen.
So sit back, relax, and enjoy the best 28 minutes of the year. (Consumer experience may vary). Ohh and I did mention that all the money goes to charity?